Open the mail, close the mail: are you so confused?
Hello, remember me? I'm the individual who promised to create content in March, but got wildly sidetracked, fell into a Reddit rabbit hole and have been all too ashamed to admit it until now.
With a pandemic wreaking havoc across the world, wild bush fires and political assholes running the nation, we all need pick-me-ups and an influx of good news to keep spirits high. I fear that if we don't, we'll fall into a sunken place. One cushioned with the comforts of Sims 4, fast foods and texting our exes, 'lol so wats new?' while waiting tirelessly for a response we'll never get. Which is where I come in. Think of me as your literary candy stripe lady with far fewer qualifications.
Today, I'm living the Carrie Bradshaw fantasy, despite having ill feelings towards her awful, awful character. With the bank balance troubles to match, I find myself living an SATC life if it were set against the backdrop of a global pandemic.
Now I KNOW what you're thinking, you've excitedly opened this newsletter with the expectation that there'll be a link to my memoir... there is not. The truth is, there are exciting things to come for I'M NOT A WRITER and I hope you'll think it worth the wait. As we don't yet have an official date for the re-release, I’m sharing an excerpt from the chapter 'The Writer & The Crippling Bank Balance' with you so as to whet your literary appetite. Are you ready kids? It is here that you respond, 'Aye aye captain'...
I'd like to believe that when read misquotes, you immediately think of me. So the very first #ThingsIDontMeme should be fairly self-explanatory.
As displayed Rihanna in her unforgettable NAACP Image Awards speech, I'm simply (and metaphorically) collecting an award for signing with a Literary Agent this month. Admittedly this is the most exciting thing to ever happen to me, not excluding the time I found a £10 note in the machine at Victoria Station. I'm incredibly excited for the next 'chapter' and hope that through this introductory newsletter you'll each be equally as chuffed as I am. Stay tuned for the next edition.
As Kendrick Lamar once said it is with 'Love + Lust' that I leave you until the next newslettah.
Love, L x